Jesus Warriors

 I have a feeling there are a lot of you like me out there. You got married, had some kids, and you pretty much knew what you were doing, or at least you knew where you wanted to end up. Maybe, like me, all you ever wanted was to be a Mom. Maybe that's still where you are! If so, enjoy it, Mama! If not, may be we can talk. If you grew up in the evangelical church like I did, you knew you wanted to raise little warriors for Jesus. Admit it, you did. 

I mean, there's got to be a reason the Psalmist calls these children "arrows" right? Like, we are using them in battle for the Lord. "I'm in the Lord's Army" and all that stuff. Then if you were in the Christian homeschooling world, there was a double whammy. We are raising "World Changers." I specifically remember a speaker in a homeschool workshop saying, "Public schools raise good employees. Homeschoolers raise the leaders. Those public school kids will be the employees of your homeschoolers one day." And you better believe that behind all that rhetoric was the not-so-subtle message that being a conservative Republican was the only acceptable way to change the world for Jesus. There's literally an entire law school dedicated to teaching constitutional law to kids who've been homeschooled. Because, you know, Jesus was so dedicated to the political landscape of his day. He must want us to be. 

And this is the world where I lived. Being the vibrant, positive, future oriented 7w8/ENFP that I am, I bought it all hook, line and sinker. I took up the cause. It shaped every aspect of my parenting. Most of this expectation was directed at and heaped onto my oldest. His personality was strong. It was huge, actually. I believed that this must mean that God had huge plans for him to do God's work, and I told him that. He was one of these "World Changers," and God would use him mightily.

....and I shudder...

What a monumentally heavy load to put on a child, a teenager, and now a young adult who carries that around and feels the weight of not being important enough. If he was a world changer, a William Wallace, as the homeschool world loves to magnify, then he has royally missed the boat, according to him. And that's a hard thing for a strong 25 year old man to shake.

He's not the only one. I don't think my others felt it as much or at least for as long, but I'm sure there was some sense there. And for that I'm sorry.

My cousin recently posted this on Instagram, and I posted it in a story. I'd read it before, but it hit me this time that this is exactly what I did. And I'm regretful.

"Do not ask your children to strive" by William Martin

"Do not ask your children to strive for extraordinary lives. Such striving may seem admirable, but it is the way of foolishness. Help them instead to find the wonder and the marvel of an ordinary life. Show them the joy of tasting tomatoes, apples and pears. Show them how to cry when pets and people die. Show them the infinite pleasure in the touch of a hand. And make the ordinary come alive for them. The extraordinary will take care of itself."

I've often said that one reason I'm glad I had so many kids is so that I had so many chances to parent differently and figure out a way that might be better. My youngest is a lot like my oldest in so many ways. He questions his future. He wonders about his worth. He asks about his purpose. My answers this time are much different. My answers this time may not really answer the questions. "You are to be you, my dear One. And the world already is a better place just because you're in it." "Be gentle with yourself. Have grace. Don't let your expectations run your life."

We are all called to love God and love our neighbors. Those are the two greatest commandments, right? Why do we think we need to heap anymore on our children? Are they to bear the weight of our expectations? Because they aren't God's expectations.

Where did we get the idea that Jesus wanted warriors anyway? And who is recruiting for God's army?

 Matthew 5:3-10: the Beatitudes

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.  

                    Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

                    Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.

Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.

Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. 

  

Jesus must've left out a few important ones. "Blessed are those who labor and train in theological (and military) combat to prepare for defending God's Kingdom."  "Blessed are those who vote the right way because God needs Christians to have political power." "Blessed are those who can perfectly exegete hard passages of scripture and understand how God's sovereignty and man's free will work together." "Blessed are those who defend and fight for the US constitution [read: 2nd amendment] at all costs."

No, this time around I'm focusing on teaching my children to be meek and lowly, merciful and pure in heart. I'm making sure they know their Mama believes there's no one way to vote, and that whoever is on the "throne," I believe God put them there. And no matter what, their purpose is to glorify God and also to rule mercifully and lovingly over the earth to continue His original work of creation until the day of His return when He makes all things new.

These last few years have given me so much opportunity to listen and learn--from Jesus, my kids and others. I intend to keep doing just that. I will never apologize for believing that Jesus is the Way, but I do apologize for adding so much to His Way, His Gospel. 

I don't believe Jesus wants more Warriors or World Changers. He just wants our hearts, meek and lowly, to love Him and our neighbors. As our nation gets more and more pluralistic, we will have more and more chances to show our love for all, to show our fruit. Not for the purpose of winning people for Christ--Jesus does that work Himself. No, we get to love just for the sake of loving. The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self control. I heard it said recently that "truth" is not a fruit of the Spirit. I thought that was so poignant. "If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing." 1 Cor. 13:2. 

So my conclusion is that I will teach my kids to love. They won't do it perfectly. I don't do it perfectly. They are immature, and they have their own personalities to deal with. But "loving one another," that's what I'm trying to focus on these days. If they become a world changer by God's sovereignty? So be it. But that's not the goal. I think Mother Teresa is probably the greatest example of all in this. She set out to help the poor in India, one person at a time. Her love for God and others did change the world, all the while being meek and lowly and poor in spirit. 

Maybe we make our jobs as Christian parents harder than it has to be? Maybe we just need to live as imperfect examples, all the while pointing to Jesus. Isn't that goal?